Mask Off

A label that reads “don’t help me”

Difficult to process emotion normally

Dysregulated internally

Triggers occur without warning

Brain firing consistent and rapidly 

The worst of the past mentally reinforcing

Flashbacks repeatedly playing

Spiraling, splitting, it’s happening

It feels like a horror movie

Living a nightmare inside

Lash out, Jekyll & Hyde

Distressful thoughts

It’s not your fault

Dramatic reactions

Destructive patterns

Blank stare consumes my face

Distance and disassociate

Existing elsewhere in my mind that feels safe

Between reality and the void, anywhere but this place

But it’s myself I can’t escape

Overcome by emptiness within

That’s behind every sin

Label me human

Trade in my masks for His perspective

As I wear His affirmation and acceptance

~ Carly Reed

Buried beneath shame and guilt, 

Hiding my true self 

These masks became glued to my face

Bound by ropes and chains

I pray they eventually melt away

Carefully listen to what I really have to say

Tongue and cheek,

Smoke and mirror speech

Do my words cut too deep?

Send a shiver down your spine

As you Reed between the lines

Some of my confessions, cringe-worthy 

But self expression is so liberating

Wonder if I’ll ever truly be happy

For now, at least I feel free

Masks are a trap, for you and me

~ Carly Reed